


Well That Certainly Wasn't In The Bible

by Owl_Lady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Destiel - Freeform, Gabriel the Messanger, Jesus - Freeform, Kisses, M/M, Probable blasphemy, Sabriel - Freeform, bibles, m/m - Freeform, the nativity story, well that certainly wasn't in the bible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owl_Lady/pseuds/Owl_Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Gabriel are decorating the bunker for Christmas when the lights in Sam's head go off. Isn't this the angel that told The Virgin Mary she was pregnant...oh he had to hear this story. Sabriel and Destiel</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well That Certainly Wasn't In The Bible

**Author's Note:**

> Hello every and MERRY CHRISTMAS. I hope you are enjoying this seasonal holiday. This will be my first Christmas fic (sorry I didn't write one last year and also sorry this is a couple of days late). I've always wondered how this particular biblical event would have gone on if our Gabriel had been the messenger. Well here is my interpretation. ENJOY

"Oooooo Hoooollly Niiiighhht, Gabriel is totally awwwwesome. He is the beeest archangelllll of them alllllll" sang Gabriel as he hung tinsel on the batcave's mantle. Sam rolled his eyes as Gabriel ruined yet another holiday classic. He had to admit this one was better than 'Lucifer got run over by a reindeer'.

"Looong lay the world, absent of GAAAAABRIIIIIIELLLLLL till he appeared and their souls felt his wooooorth" He rang out again.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE GABRIEL WILL YOU SHUT UP" shouted Dean from the other room.

"The thrill of hiiiimmm the weeeeary woooorld rejoiced, for yooonder breaks a neewwww and glorious moooorn whichhaslotsofgabrielinit FFFFAAAALLLLLL OOONNNN YOOOOOUUURRR KNNNEEEEEESS FOR HEEEEEAR HIS ANGELLLLLLL VOOOOOIIICCCEEEEE FOOOOOOOORRRRRR HHEEEEEEEEE ISSSSS DIVIIIIIINNNE OHHHHHH night when Gabriel happened to be therrrreee" he continued.

"SHUT. THE. HELL. UP." Dean yelled as Gabriel laughed up a storm.

"Oh come on Dean-O I'm only taking your cultures terrible songs and making them ten times better" Gabe said as he popped a candy cane into his hand.

"What's wrong with our Chirstmas songs" Sam asked. He had enjoyed his regular Chirstmas' when he was away at college.

"Oh come on Sammy, there all about how great the baby savior was when he was first born. He was a baby, he didn't do much. Trust me I was there" Gabriel argued as he popped his candy cane into his mouth. A light suddenly came on in Sam's head and a big smile spread across his face.

"Oh dad what are you thinking about now Sammy, you've got your creepy face going on" Gabriel said.

"Your Gabriel" Sam simply said.

"Finally caught in to that have you" Gabriel retorted.

"No no...I mean...your That Gabriel. You know the 'you shall have a child and name his Jesus' Gabriel. It's like the only thing you ever did as an angel" Sam said. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"That is not what I said first of all, and secondly that is not the only thing I ever did. I sounded my trumpet a lot...and...um...Oh I told Mary her cousin was preggers...yeah see I did tons of other stuff" Gabriel said.

"What was that like" Sam asked as the more scientific side of him came out.

"Well being that Mary was a virgin who suddenly turned up pregnant she took it surprisingly well. Guess that's why she was in such favor" Gabriel said as he finished off his candy cane and made another.

"No I mean what did you say, what did she say, did she faint...yah know what was it like" Sam asked again.

"Did you know there is this lovely little book, best seller actually, that tells you all about it" Gabriel said.

"Really" Sam asked.

"Yeah it's called The Bible, I'd skip forward to Luke 1:26-38, that's where all the juicy bits are" Gabriel mocked him.

"Oh come on Gabe, there is no way that Luke 1:26-38 is what you actually said to her" Sam retorted. Gabriel placed his hand over his chest in fake shock.

"You don't believe the words of the holy text...how rebellious of you Sammy" Gabriel over acted.

"Gabe there is no way YOU of all people said 'You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High' there is no way" Sam ranted. Gabriel giggled on a certain line and Sam pointed at him.

"See you can't even hold it together when I say Most High" Sam pointed out. Gabriel lifted up his hands in surrender.

"Ok ok you've caught me. Maybe the scribes took a little creative licensing to what I actually said" Gabriel said.

"Good so now you can't tell me what you actually said to her" Sam said. Sam walked over to his favorite couch in the bunker and plopped himself down. He patted the spot next to him and waited for his archangel to join him. Gabriel shook his head though.

"Ah ah ah Samsquatch, this is a Christmas story and Christmas stories are meant to be told with the entire family present" Gabriel said. With that Gabriel snapped his fingers and all of a sudden Dean and Cas appeared into the living room. Dean currently had his tongue down Cas' throat and Cas was gripped Dean's ass like he was raising it from perdition. Dean looked up and saw that his brother and boyfriend's brother where watching him and he pulled away at a lightning speed.

"WHAT THE HELL GABRIEL" Dean shouted and Cas had gone a dark shade of red.

"Oh look Sam it's a good thing Dean and Cas are here, because I was just about to start telling you about the time I told a virgin she got knocked up by my dad" Gabriel said in a merry tune. Dean continued give Gabriel a death glare as Cas dragged him into a nearby chair.

"So now that we're all here and the scene is less pornographic I will begin. A long long time ago in a place called Nazareth, in the town of Galilee...

(Wavy transition that they have on every television show ever)

"Heyyyy Mary wazzup" Gabriel said as he landed near the Highly Favored One. The woman took one look and him and screamed in great troublement.

"Hey woah woah woah chill it's just me Gabriel your friendly neighborhood archangel" Gabriel said.

"What is a neighborhood" Mary asked. Gabriel sighed, oh dear she was one of those people.

"Doesn't matter M, can I call you M, I'm here to tell you something quite interesting" Gabriel said. Mary straightened herself and prepared for the holy news.

"I'm going to tell you in a riddle" Gabriel said, he liked to have fun with his messages. Mary nodded her head. Wow this chick has up for anything no wonder she was gonna pop out dad's kid.

"What is Jewish, a girl, and is pregnant when she shouldn't be" Gabriel asked. Mary's hand rocketed up to her mouth in shock.

"Is it me oh holy Gabriel: Archangel of The Lord" she said.

"No it's your cousin Elisabeth, but yeah you too" Gabriel corrected. Mary's eyes grew big and she fell to her knees.

"This is not possible I am a virgin, I am promised to Joseph the carpenter" Mary said.

"If your that worried about it I can send a couple of my buddies to tell Joe that it's totally cool. Your still technically a virgin" Gabriel said. Gabriel poofed up a nail file and began to give him self a manicure to pass the time. He should probably send Castiel to tell the carpenter guy that dad knocked up his bride, or maybe Balthazar...yeah Balthazar, now that would be funny.

"I don't understand Oh Holy Gabriel. How can I be a virgin, but have conceived a child" Mary asked.

"Well I would say The Lord works in mysterious ways, but that's a little to over done. How about this. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God" Gabriel rattled off.

"What" Mary confusingly asked.

"Uh well let's just say your gonna end up prego by some mysterious force and this baby is gonna be the son of my dad, God, and one day he's gonna rule over this kingdom that doesn't end and other stuff like that. I really wasn't paying attention when dad explained it to me" Gabriel confirmed.

"I am with the child of our Lord" Mary said astonished.

"Yep that's about the gist of it" Gabriel confirmed again. Mary then came to her feet and smiled at the great angel.

"Thank you Holy Gabriel for beseeching me with this glorious task" Mary said as she bowed her head to him. Gabriel waved his hand at her.

"Oh don't thank me M it's all the work of the big G-man upstairs" Gabriel said. Suddenly inside of Gabriel's head he heard Micheal calling to him. Gabriel rolled his eyes and flapped his wings in preparation for flight.

"M I know we've been having SUCH a lovely chat, but I've got to go. Some King has ordered a bunch of babies to be slaughter and I have to stricken him with maggots to his groin" Gabriel said as he was about to take off. Mary bowed her head once more and he then remembered he wasn't finished.

"Oh yeah by the way you can't just call this kid what ever you want. We can't have people praising a Curtis or a Keith. You are to name him Jesus" He told Mary. Mary nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"And that's pronounced G-sus, not Hey-suess...trust me it will become a problem later" Gabriel said as he poofed away.

(Wavy transition that they have on every television show ever)

"And that is the story of me telling my best girlfriend M that she was pregnant with dad's baby. The End" Gabriel said as he ended his tale. He looked around the room and the responses to his so the where very much mixed. Dean's mouth was slightly open and he was look from Gabriel to Cas and back again trying to find logic in something. Castiel was giving him a 'seriously Gabriel you didn't choose me to tell Joseph about Mary's pregnancy because Balthazar is funnier' look. Sam's jaw was currently on the floor.

"You did not" Sam said when he finally managed to get a word out.

"I most certainly did...well I said it in Hebrew, but yeah that's what I said" Gabriel defended. Sam just got up and left the room only to return moments later carrying a leather bound book. He leaded through it until he found what he was looking for.

" Luke 1:26-38 and I quote...In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob's descendants forever; his kingdom will never end." "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail." "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May your word to me be fulfilled." Then the angel left her." recited Sam.

"Yeah...and" Gabriel asked looking for a point.

"It says nothing about you telling her she's pregnant in a riddle, it says nothing about you calling god 'the g-man', it says nothing about you telling her how to pronounce Jesus, your story and the bible literally have NO correlation what so ever" Sam told him.

"That is not true" Gabriel said.

"REALLY, in the bible it says the first words you told Mary where 'Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you' you just told me it was 'Heyyyy Mary wazzup' does that sound like THE SAME LINE GABRIEL" Sam asked.

"Keith the Son of God" Dean quietly whispered to himself.

"How about I take you to see M and she'll tell you that I'm right" Gabriel said.

"I'd like to see you try" Sam challenge him. The next moment both of them where gonna. Cas poked Dean in the ribs and caught his attention.

"Dean get the bible, anything they say or do might be written now" Cas said. Dean hurried over to the book and set it in his lap.

"Oh no" his whispered.

"What happened Dean" Cas asked and Dean began to read.

"A while after the blessed virgin had been visited by the Holy Gabriel she was visited again. The angel came down upon her once again, but he carried a man of great height and camel like build...did they just call him a moose" Dean asked as he read.

"Dean keep reading" Cas demanded.

"And low the angel said" Lookth Samuel of Kansas and behold the Virgin Mary. She will say unto you the truth of our meeting" The great man crossed his arms for he was not a believer. The Virgin Mary then told unto him the story of which the archangel asked. The great man then shook his large head and told the archangel that forthwith that he didn't believe the stories of this woman and that he believed it to be a great trick. Holy Gabriel then rubbed his fingers together to make a loud pop and a silvery strap appear upon the man's mouth. Mary asked what the strap was and the Archangel Gabriel replied "Duct Tape" then the angel and man left Mary" Dean said. He closed the bible and went to his room. He just couldn't take this bullcrap any longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyyyyy. I really enjoyed writing this, I've always had this scene up in my head and I thought it was hilarious. This idea is in no way original I've seen some posts on tumblr about this and I think I read another fic like this. This is my spin on it though, and I might possibly go to hell for some of the things I've said. Anywho I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a nice comment, and as always THANKS FOR READING


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